Gey of the Day --- 5/1/09

Gey of the Day:  Robert Pattison.  

Robert Pattison will be portraying an extremely hot version of surrealist painter Salvador Domingo Felipe Jacinto Dalí i Domènech, 1st Marquis of Púbol - aka, Dali in the film Little Ashes. The film is about Dali's love affair with Spanish poet Federico García Lorca and it gets hot and spicy, just like Ortega Taco Sauce.  Ortega Taco Sauce makes my taco pop.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ms5d9RN0WzY

Geys, see this movie if you want to see the best celeb man on man action since the Rosie vs. Donald fight of 2006.  If you haven't seen some of the things the Donald said, you have to watch this video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGZaCnfNgLE

Another Nessie sighting

Public Service Announcement

It is suspected that swine flu has killed 120 people in Mexico, although there are only 12 confirmed deaths so far.  The flu is of course dangerous because people of all ages are susceptible to it, especially teens and college aged persons.  It has been extremely prevalent in Mexico, and the only deaths have been Mexican citizens.  Consequently, the World Health Organization (WHO) has come out with this list of ways to decrease the risk of becoming infected with swine flu.

1) Avoid driving low riders.

2) Do not live with more than 6 family members.

3) Shave your stache.

4) Don't be so sleeeepy.

 

Gey of the Day --- Philip Markoff

Gey of the Day: Philip Markoff - aka the Craigslist Killer

For all you geys that enjoy online prostitution through craigslist... beware.  No matter how candy coated it seems, you could end up like erotic masseuse Julissa Brissman - shot dead in the heart at a Boston Hotel.  Markoff was an engaged 2nd year medical student at Boston University; definitely not who wou'd expect to be posting on craigslist.  

The best is yet to come though.  Today a transgender individual from Boston who had posted on craigslist under the category Males for Transexuals came foreward, admitting Philip had contacted him. Philip replied to the posting with the email adress "sexaddict5385@yahoo.com"  and called him "babe" and wrote, "I am a 22 y/o graduate student 6'3" 205 good build blonde/blue eyes.  Let me know what else you want to see or know about me.  What are you into and what are your stats.  What are you doing tonight?"  Markoff also sent numerous explicit photos - the same photos which were found on Markoff's hard drive. 

Markoff's fiance commented on April 21st in an email to ABC news:

 "All I have to say to you is Philip is a beautiful person inside and out and could not hurt a fly! A police officer in Boston (or many) is trying to make big bucks by selling this false story to the TV stations."  She continued, "What else is new?? Philip is an intelligent man who is just trying to live his life so if you could leave us alone we would greatly appreciate it. We expect to marry in August and share a wonderful, meaningful life together."

It was announced yesterday morning that the wedding has been postponed.  

Most wives would be in denial after finding out her husband is gey. 

She did WHAT??

Miley Vyrus (no, that's not a typo) recently told current bf and superhunk Justin Gaston(right) that she wants to get back together with former boyfriend and supergey Nick Jonas(left).  We all knew she was dumb, but not THIS dumb.  I mean, come on.  Who would you choose?  Maybe she feels like down-grading to someone who is more like her.  Disneyspawns of a feather stick together.  When Miley's best friend Leslie was asked about this she replied, "She's just bein' Miley."

Miley cited the reason "It just wasn't love at first sight."  This can be translated to, "His penis is small."  Unfortunately she won't be finding out about Nick's youknowwhat because he's rockin' the purity ring.  But wait, does the purity ring cover peep shows?

Gey of the Day --- 4.23.09

Gey of the Day:  Christian Siriano - more like anti-christ-ian siriano

Siriano just came out with a new line of maternity wear called "Fierce for Moody Mamas."  Prices range from $100-$300.  With prices like that we can all assume the only buyers would be professional surrogate mothers, octomom, and the African Elephant  (with an average gestation period of two years, pictured above).

Siriano said his next project will be high end lines entitled "Fierce for Fresh Fetuses" and "Fierce Frames for Flightless Fowls."  Unlike maternity wear, these two lines will come much more naturally to Siriano, for obvious reasons.

Gey of the Day --- 4.22.09

Gey of the Day:  Abraham Lincoln - more like Gayforhim Lincoln.

In case you haven't read about Lincoln sharing a bed with another man for 4 years, please google it.  It's presidential geyness at it's best.  Recent evidence shows that Gayforhim may have actually invented the emoticon.  You know, like :) ;) :*(  and all that stupid stuff that textroverted geys can't get enough of.  Take a look at the segement from an 1862 speech.

I must say, his line preceding the ;) is a real knee-slapper.  It definitely deserves the world's first emoticon.  After I was finally able to wipe the joyous tears of laughter off of my cheeks from Gayforhim's rambunctious rhetoric, I realized there is something that all historians MUST do.  They must no longer use his nickname Honest Abe until he posthumously comes out of the closet.

Nessie Spotted

Nessie was recently spotted topless (again) in a West Hollywood cesspool.

Gey of the Day --- 4.21.09

Gey of the day: Carrie Prejean - more like precum

Last Sunday Miss California USA, Carrie Precum, farted on stage.  Well, kind of.  Check out this video. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OY-1cybT6p8&feature=related

The best part is that Perez Hilton is the one who asked the question.  Youtube his video response if you want, it's pretty enjoyable.  Today however he repented, and said he wants to have coffee with her and talk.  Sounds gey.

I also think it's great that in my country we can choose between same sex marriage and opposite marriage.  But, just because a person chooses one, does that mean someone else can't choose the other?

Miss California Precum USA makes us all wonder how Prop 8 passed?

Nevertheless, she is clearly gey, and repressing it.  She's lucky too, because Samantha Ronson is newly single!!

Gey of the Day --- 4.20.09

Gey of the day: Zac Efron - more like Zac what the eff is wrong.

Zac Efron recently attended an NBA playoff game with 57 year old boyfriend and TMZ host Harvey Levin.  Some other ho that wouldn't stop hanging on him also came with - much to Levin's dismay.  Zac totally loved her wedges, so he reached down to check them out.  Upon closer look he decided to not try them on because they were from Wal-Mart and Zac does NOT do Wal-Mart.  My guess is Zac will return as Gey of the day, for obvious reasons, like.. because he's gey.  

PS, His arms have quintupled in size since HSM 1.

Gey of the Day --- 4.19.09

Gey of the day: Governor Paterson

Recently, Governor Paterson (D-NY) proposed legislation to legalize gey marriage in NY, making millions and millions (this is NY we're talking about) of geys say "hayy girl hayyyyy".  For those of who you don't know, Paterson is blind.  This, however, comes as no surprise for some reason (just look at the picture).  Clearly someone who thinks geys should be able to get married is gey himself. That's why Governor Paterson has achieved the prestigious gey of the day award. 

SNL did a pretty good job depicting him - watch the vid in the link below.  It's terribly funny, and awful.  Since when has making fun of blind people become so hilarious!? On that note, I leave you with a joke:

What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder?  Endless Love.

How gey is that?

http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/update-gov-patterson/981362/

"I Think My Son Is Gey"

Many wonder, is my son gey?  The answer is yes, yes he is. But for all your curious cougs out there, here are some signs to look for.

• He has a lisp - A recent Harvard study showed that 51% of people with lisps are gey.
• He likes High School Musical 1, 2, and maybe 3.
• He frequently takes sepia toned pictures of himself in the bathroom mirror.
• He's text votes for American Idol's Adam Lambert multiple times.
• His ringtone is "Believe" by Cher.

There are so many more.  Feel free to contact me if you think your son is gey. *puts right hand on heart*  I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help me Ryan Seacrest.

Gey of the Day --- 4.18.09

Hello all, this is my first of many inspiring posts to be posted on this blog.  If you enjoy, tell your friends to read it too, because that would be hot.  I'm doing this to enlighten everyone of the unfortunate truth that the world faces today.  That truth is, that everyone is gay.  I don't want to offend anyone really, so instead I'll say gey. Isn't that GEY!??!?  Here goes.

GEY of the Day:

Susan Boyle.  For all my gey's out there - If you haven't made yourself throw up yet today, take that finger out of your throat and plug it into your ear, and FAST.  After finishing trimming her moustache and brushing her pit hair, she flipped that brush for a quick sing (pictured above).  Luckily the brush didn't amplify her siren song like the mic did here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxPZh4AnWyk

She claims to be 47, and never kissed.  Can you say COUGAR.  I'd be her first kiss - that is if I could put it on youtube and become super famous.  But seriously, Susan is the Gey of the day not only because she so obviously prefers the taste of ancient persian rugs, but because she's currently the Gey's next icon.  Say goodbye to Stevie BAAA Nicks, Mad-donna, Britterz, Lady Gargles, and Jesus, and make way for SUSAN BOYLE!  OUR PROPHET HAS COME!